Sorry for not posting this past week. I have been all over the place and have been worn out completely. 
I will post updates later today about my recent ER visits, My trip to see my LLMD, My lyme music benefit that is a month away, and so much more. i have been a very busy girl which has just killed all my energy. 

thanks for following me and being patient with my absence. Hope all is well and blessed.

for now.... read these cute comics.

As a lot of you with Lyme already know...  Lyme really puts a damper on our relationships and love life. The people that are in our everyday life suffer from this disease too just in a different way. They have all the same stress and emotional battles that us lymies go through. They have to stand aside and appear strong for us. They take care of us, support us financially so we can get treatment, and pick us up when were down. We have to depend so much on our loved ones for support. sometimes we dont think about what that does to them.

There have been so many times when I have noticed Matt looking at me and I can see the sadness and heart break in his eyes. I cant imagine the fear he feels. I keep a lot of my symptoms to myself trying to lighten his worry load but he knows, he knows I hide it from him. What am I suppose to do? This isnt what he signed up for. Its very hard for me to cope with the fact that Im a huge burden on our lives. I have been sick our entire relationship and he has been taking care of me from the beginning. 

I want to badly to free him of this pain and hurt. 

He has sacrificed so much from me. He has stopped performing music, his alone time, hanging out with his buddies, and so many other things that he loved to do. Most of the time he puts my needs and health first... and that is hard on me emotionally. Music is his spirituality and I have seen it change other peoples lives. God plays music through Matt and Ive never seen anything more beautiful than when he loses himself in a song. He has stopped doing the things that he loves and he has stopped them because of this disease.

So please, in all your pain and suffering... remind those that love you, how much you appreciate them. They have their own emotional battles to deal with. Just because we actually have this disease doent mean it doesnt effect them. They have to appear strong to keep us going... and a lot of times they are on their breaking point too.


I am very blessed to have Matt Green in my life! He takes care of me, picks me up from the floor when i cant even crawl, he does my iv treatments, cooks, cleans and all while having a FULL time job. how did i get so lucky to have someone that cares so much? One day i will be healed and ur lives will be so much fuller and ill be able to return the favor! 
lyme often breaks up friendships, relationships and so many other things.... it has made us grow stronger! the love we share is larger than the universe and i am so grateful for that!!

The FDA released a recall on Heparin flushes. Of course my lot # was part of the bad batch. The FDA did a voluntary recall due to the possibility of dirty water. Since I have been having the chest pains and pain in my arm, I wanted to play it safe and get checked out. 
We arrive at the ER around 6pm. I tell them what is going on and luckily i brought a bad heparin shot with me. He confirmed that YES it was bad... not that I was doubting myself anyways. They did an EKG, CT with radiation, ultrasound of my arm and chest Blood-work and Cultures. After they had ran my CT with radiation they sent me back to my room to have a very lengthy ultrasound done. During the ultrasound the CT tech came in and was telling me about the amount of radiation they ha given me and that it was a low dose... he is telling me this because he said my pregnancy test came back positive! WHAT?! Matt and I have been trying for 3 years to have a child. Doctors have told me that there is no hopes of that ever happening. They said that if I took a shot called Lupron that it MAY help but no promises. So ive been taking the lupron shot for 2 months. They stressed to me how fatel it would be if for whatever reason I DID become pregnant while taking Lupron. So of course when they said I was pregnant I had fixed feelings. I didnt know what to think. A child is something that I want to badly. I want to be a mother and I know that I will be a damn good one.. and here i am finally pregnant but could be a horrific thing. 
So Im freaking out in my head for thirty mins while im still getting my ultrasound done. Im not saying anything because of the nurse is still in the room. She had my bed tured about and I couldnt even see Matts face. He wasnt saying anything and I had NO IDEA what he could of been thinking. After about thirty mins of this a nurse walks in and said they got my bloodwork mixed up and that I wasn't pregnant. Although I have very relieved I am also kinda sad. Its a weird thing to feel that something Ive wanted for so long was about to happen.. even tho it could of turned out bad.. and then to be told "oh no, nevermind." is kinda heart breaking. 
I know that God hasnt given me a child yet because of the current battles i face..  but its no fun to be toyed with. 

As for any infection caused by the heparin... i will know more tomorrow. 

Hope all is well and blessed, Kris

We can chose what path we are going to take with this disease. You can give up or fight the fight! 

For me this disease has revealed many blessing. I am loved by so many people and even kind hearted strangers. I feel a motivation in me that I have never felt before. I feel as if I have REAL purpose and that having Lyme is a POSITIVE not a NEGATIVE. Yes, it does a terrible number on my mind and body.. and yes, there are days i feel dead... but when I have the good days.. I feel them with LIGHT! I see this journey as an opportunity to help prevent others from also having Lyme. I can show others what having Lyme really is, I can document my struggles and my victories. I want to inspire those with Lyme that there IS a life worth living.  I want to bring hope but also show TRUTH!

On Aug 12, 2013 I had my Picc line put in place. I am doing 100mg doxy daily. 

So here is my book/timeline of how I have gotten sick. 
Its really long.

 Summer of 2010
- tested postive for lyme but was told I didn't have it.
      July
- bitten and diagnosed with RMSF (took doxy for 30 days) 

Late winter, Spring, and summer of 2011
- (started trying to have a baby)
      Feb
-diagnosed w/ fibro (leg pain is unbearable,
 not sleeping, tired, 
headaches/migranes) 

Fall and winter 2011- 
-extreme weakness
 -started feeling nausea
 -deep abdominal pain 
-not able to get prego 
-throwing up once a wk 
-pain in legs is getting worse 

Spring 2012 
-nausea is worse and more frequent 
-vomiting for 2-4 days straight 
-stool bowels with extreme vomiting 
-belly pain 
-memory loss 
-no sex drive 
-feeling very sad
 -5lb weight loss 
-leg pain is now constant 

Summer 2012-
 -vomiting every day, ALL DAY LONG
 -15lb weight loss 
-chill and light headed
 -vison problems 
-extreme weakness 
-leg pain now in elbows 
-constant head pain 
-constant belly pain 
-hearing is going bad 

Fall 2012- 
 -vomitibg a little less but not much improvement 
-blackouts and dizziness
 -heart beats funny
 -dont want to eat/cant eat or keep it down 
-slight hearing loss 
-vertigo 

Winter 2012- april 2013 
 -20lb wight loss 
-unable to eat anything 
-belly pain is all the norm to me now. Just dealing with it. 
 -head pain is worse than ever 
-memory loss and confusion
 -cant focus 
-not all here 
-no sleeping 

 I had a migrane with stroke like dymptons. It lasted about 15mins. I couldn't speak. My husband said I sounded like a caveman. I couldn't see anything outside tunnel vison. I was trying so hard to tell matt how he could help me but couldn't get it out. I was shaking so bad he had to hold me to the bed. 

 April 2013 - NOW 
-went to mayo clinic for a week ( everything was normal) 
still nausous but not vomiting as much 
-went vegan 
- leg pain is really bad 
-tested positive AGAIN for LYMES 
-diagnosed with LYME 
 - memory is at its worse-very emotional I haven't been able to work in a year and a half.
 Somedays I can't even walk or sit up. 

When I go through extreme spells of being sick this is what happens to my body... --Chills-
-sweats-
-low blood pressure-
-feeling very dizzy (almost drunk)-
-disoriented-
-loose bowels-
-cant eat anything-
-cant smell anything-
-cant drink anything-
-vision is very impaired-
-stomach pain-
-memory loss-
-and confusion.


There it is... how it all unfolded.